Finally Lost It

Well, it was bound to happen...but I finally had a good old fashioned cry. Of all the silly things, it was a Charmed episode that did me in.

I would never admit this offline--I just want to be honest in case I can help anyone who is going or is about to go through the same thing.

And don't worry...I'm fine now. I just needed to get it out.

Sometimes I cry more readily about fictional events that strike a chord with me than about events in real life. I guess in real life I always put things in perspective but with fiction, the sad situation is designed to be viewed as tragedy. Because it is not real, it gets under my radar and then pow.

I think when you read the script, you'll see why it got to me.

If you do not follow Charmed, Piper is one of the main characters. She is a witch and Leo is her a white lighter...a person who did so much good in his life that when he died he was called to help guide those with good magic. They fell in love, which was completely taboo, but they were finally allowed to marry and they had a son. In this episode, Leo is receiving a new calling: to be an elder. As an elder, he would no longer be able to live on earth with his family.

PIPER: You asked me to marry you, and I did. You wanted a family and I gave you a son. And now you want me to just watch you just walk away?

LEO: It's not that simple.

PIPER: Then make it simple, because I'm trying really hard to understand.

LEO: Piper, if I had a choice in any of this, I would choose you. I always have.

PIPER: Then choose me now ... and let's go home.(PIPER holds out her hand and waits for LEO to take it. LEO glances down at her hand.)

LEO: Don't you think I want to?

PIPER: I don't know. And that's what scares me the most.(PIPER looks down. LEO grasps both of PIPER'S hands with his.)

LEO: (earnestly) The Elders were wrong about us. They didn't think our love could survive, but it did. Our love blessed us in ways they couldn't even imagine. (PIPER looks at LEO.) It gave you the strength that you needed to take over for Prue. It produced a baby with a greater future than any of us. And it made me ... (He falters.)

PIPER: ... An Elder.

LEO: Our love is transcendent, Piper. It lifted me up so high that this was the only possible result. Being an Elder wasn't my destiny, but yet here I am because of you.

PIPER: (shakes her head) I can't just give up. I don't know how.(PIPER starts to cry.)

LEO: You can't fight this ... not this.(She sobs and the powers of the gods leaves her. It rises out from her and heads back to the urn behind the closed cabinet doors.)(PIPER is no longer dressed in Greek garb, but once again back in her dress from the outing earlier that day.)

PIPER: How am I supposed to do this alone?

LEO: You have your sisters.

PIPER: It's not the same.(PIPER looks down.) Will I ever see you again?

LEO: I don't know. I'll always be watching over you.

PIPER: But you won't be there for Wyatt. You're gonna miss so much.

LEO: I will never leave Wyatt's side. He will always feel my presence. It's not the same as human love. He needs you for that.

PIPER: (sighs) He's got me. And I hope that that's enough. (She starts to cry again.) But what if it's not?

LEO: As an Elder, I have the power to take your pain away.

PIPER: You can't make me forget you.

LEO: No. Help you find peace.