An Army Wife's Life

Once upon a time I was a college student, then I was a teacher, and now I'm a mother. Technically, I'm currently a freelance writer... but really I am an ARMY WIFE. Expect to find... funny (at least to me) anecdotes, thoughts about la vida military, hopes, anxieties, dreams, commentaries on current events.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Making "Friends"

Strange for a blogger, but I am actually a pretty private person.

I make acquaintances easily, but not "friends." It takes a lot for me to feel close to a person and feel comfortable confiding in them. Even then, there are certain thoughts and feelings I would only share with DH--no one else.

Without DH around, I find myself in positions where my boundaries are challenged. For example, I was online at the commissary and this woman pointed to my bag that has a cat on it and asked, "Do you have a cat at home?" I just responded, "Yes." However, she clearly wanted to talk...she talked as we were waiting, as I was loading my groceries onto the belt, as I was paying, as I was leaving.

Normally I would have just avoided the conversation, but I strongly suspect she was very lonely. Maybe she is always like this, but she mentioned her husband is deployed and I got the feeling she does not have a lot of human contact. So, we chatted. I almost felt like giving her pamphlets for the installation volunteer program or something. She seemed like she needed to get out more.

Another time, however, I left my walls up.

There is an officer who is on Rear D because she is pregnant who always tries to make friends with me about our pregnancies. Keep in mind she is in a different battery than my husband and never said word two to me before she found out that she was pregnant. Now she wants to be best friends. She even tried to get the names and numbers of all of the pregnant wives in the FRG so she could chat with us about our pregnancies.

Maybe I should feel some sort of sisterly bond, but I just don't. This is no doubt in part because she just happened to get pregnant (with her second child) right before deploying--even though she is not in a longterm committed relationship. Perhaps it was just an accident, but here she is at home instead of in Iraq.

The other day at the FRG meeting she approached me as usual. I just answer her questions politely and walk away.

Then, while I was thinking about what to write to my husband on our Battery FRG Banner, she calls out my name. When I turn around, she says, "Smile! You look so serious." Well, duh. I was thinking. I was actually sitting on the banner with pen in hand--obviously about to write until she broke my chain of thought.

It is not like I walk around looking sad. In fact, a number of people have commented on what a happy pregnant lady I am. I am sure that I was probably smiling a second before.

That bothered me that she presumes to know me, interrupt my thoughts, and attempt to "cheer me up."

Maybe I am just a prickly person...


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